“The best survivors of divorce are individuals who can intentionally look for the positive about their new place in life.” ~Anonymous
In this series on divorce, we’ve looked at various ways women who have separated from their husbands are affected within their own self-esteem, thoughts, and feelings. In Part Two, we were also reminded of the impact a collapse in marriage has on children, as well as warnings for parents who desire a new love relationship too quickly.
Now, in the last segment of this series we’ll focus on some general “Do’s and Don’ts” for those facing, or currently going through, the transitions involved in divorce. Although the focus of this series has been from a female perspective—speaking to women—many of these points can apply to men as well.
Some “Do’s” for women who are facing divorce:
- Take care of yourself!
- Exercise regularly
- Eat a healthy diet
- Get plenty of sleep
- Read a daily devotional for spiritual guidance from God and His Word.
- Attend church worship and get involved in a Bible/book study opportunity for women.
- Join a “support group” of some kind. This can be an organized group for divorced women, or simply a few positive-outlook friends to talk with regularly. Plan things with them that you can look forward to such as going to lunch/dinner, movies, or maybe even trips.
- Read helpful resources to move forward in your thinking. Here are a few books to consider:
- Live in close proximity of your children, and stay involved in their personal events and activities.
- Get premarital counseling—at least 6-8 sessions—before embarking on another marriage.
- Journal your thoughts on a regular basis. This can help you progress to a more positive state of thinking, feeling, and interacting with others.
- Do something kind/helpful for someone else every day!
Some “Don’ts” to keep in mind once you are divorced:
- Don’t talk negatively about your ex-spouse—especially around the children.
- Don’t rely on your children for emotional support. Rather, rely on the Lord and your supportive adult friends.
- Don’t discuss emotional issues with your kids. It burdens them!
- Don’t refuse to attend events in your child’s life just because your ex- will be there.
- Don’t stop good relationships with ex- family members.
- Don’t get into another love relationship too soon.
- Don’t start a new life with a boyfriend or new husband before you’ve had time to deal with your own issues.
Practical principles before proceeding:
- Blending families with children after a divorce creates a very complicated life. Proceed with much caution!
- Keep your child’s best interest in mind—and not just your own romantic desires.
- Even those without kids should not rush into another relationship. You need adequate insight into the relationship you’re leaving and the person you’ve since become.
- Don’t “let yourself go” in your appearance! Looking your best helps with your self-esteem and outlook on the future.
- Look for ways to creatively move forward with grace given to others and yourself.
Divorce can be a difficult road to travel with several obstacles to navigate along the way. However, Psalm 34:18 reminds us that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.” God promises to guide us through this challenging life transition toward a pathway and future of joy and fulfillment as we move closer to Him.
To schedule an appointment with a licensed professional counselor at The BabbCenter for Counseling, call 615-824-3772.
If you’re divorced and could use some support from others who understand the pain you’re in, consider attending Divorce Care®:
Divorce Care® Recovery Support Group
The Babb Center for Counseling
Tues. evenings—beginning Jan. 15, 2019
Time: 6:30–8 p.m.
Cost: $ 15.00
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To register or read more information on topics covered in Divorce Care®, click on this link https://www.divorcecare.org/groups/99658