Are you someone known for nitpicking details before others are “allowed” to see the end product? Do you cringe when you think your product (birthday cake, office or home decor, presentation at work, etc..) is not absolutely perfect? If so, you may be suffering from perfectionistic tendencies.
What exactly is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a common term we hear. We often equate it with someone who performs at a high level, gives attention to detail, and avoids making mistakes. Actually, perfectionism is much different than that.
The practice of perfectionism is a strategy we use to manage what other people think of us. It is driven by the fear of how we come across to others. We try to be faultless because we want to fit in—fearing criticism, blame, or shame from other people. This characteristic becomes a driving force that often pushes us to the point of exhaustion and even then, we have trouble laying it down.
To be clear, perfectionism is not the same thing as healthy striving from an internal drive to do our personal best. Perfectionism is an external audit system driven by the fears of being seen as flawed or “less than” in the eyes of those we interact with day-to-day.
It’s a healthy practice to strive for doing your best. But, if your motivation to perform is driven by fear or anxiety, you may be acting more out of perfectionism.
Moving Beyond Perfectionism
Taming our fears and giving grace to ourselves is the path away from perfectionism. Here are a few pointers on how you can do this:
- Determine to what degree you are worried about what people think.
- Realize you cannot manage other people’s perceptions.
- Learn to live with the mindset of “doing your best” rather than “doing things perfectly.”
- Speak positively to yourself (internally) as you would speak to someone you love.