When grieving a significant loss, you may perceive expectations from others about how quickly you should walk through the process. Pressure from family members, colleagues, or friends to “move on” is sometimes felt before you may actually be ready to act on that suggestion.
Learning to live with the loss of someone important to you is a journey that varies for each person. It’s important to remember, that there is no timetable for how long the grieving process takes.
As you process your grief, remember:
Mourning doesn’t happen in a straight line
Even though you may feel you are moving forward, significant dates such as birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays often bring up unexpected feelings. Certain reminders can trigger memories that cause you to relive the loss all over again. It is normal to have days where you may not feel as hopeful as you did the day before. When certain dates or memories leave you with a heavy heart, don’t feel guilty if you need to take a step back and allow yourself to grieve again. Give yourself permission to mourn as long as you need!
Adjusting to a new routine takes time
Part of the grieving process is working toward creating a new normal. There are many different layers when it comes to grieving. You may feel the need to get through the pain as quickly as possible in order to feel better. It is normal to feel as if you need to rush the process. However, take your time with the process of grief. Lean into your mourning and allow yourself to fully experience each layer of sorrow as it comes.
Don’t attach yourself to a timeline
It’s normal to desire a cut-off period for your grieving experience. This often happens by comparing yourself to others. You may see other family members moving forward in their grief and feel pressured to do the same. You may even experience others telling you, “It’s time to move on.” Remember, there are no rules when it comes to grieving. So don’t rush yourself, and don’t allow anyone else to hasten the progression of your grieving period.
Grieving is personal
It is important to allow yourself time to experience and process the reactions related to your grief. Your mourning process is uniquely your own. Each person grieves differently, so be patient with yourself.
The sorrow you’re feeling over the loss of your loved one will always be with you to some degree. However, the pain will gradually ease and you will understand it is possible to move forward. Be patient with yourself, let go of expectations, and allow yourself all the time you need to work through it.
Journey Through Grief currently meets ONLINE the first Wednesday
of every month from 6:30pm – 8:00pm.
To register for this group, please click HERE.