Death is an important matter of life. Do you ever talk with your children about it?
Each year we see news reports about well-known, successful celebrities suddenly ending their lives. We hear about these tragic circumstances with shock and sadness—and so do our kids! We may think these headlines are sad or unfortunate, but then we go about our day as usual. However, our children may have different perspectives and reactions as they try to understand it all.
Girls think about and attempt suicide twice as often as boys and tend to attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves. Yet boys die by suicide about four times as often as girls, and experts think this is because they tend to use more lethal methods.
The topic of suicide is, without a doubt, an ill-fated reality of today’s culture. It’s tough enough as adults to wrestle with this topic, so how can we come close to discussing it with our children?
God created life
In the Bible, we read that “God made the world and everything in it” (Acts 17:24). The biblical account (in Genesis) of God creating human beings is one that most kids have heard since they were in preschool.
As parents, we can build on this truth from Scripture by talking with our children before they hear about tragedies such as suicides by reminding them that since God is the creator of life, He determines when our lives on Earth will end.
Obviously, the topic of self-annihilation does not come up for most kids in everyday dialogue. But it does come to their attention now and then through news sources, they connect to such as “entertainment” segments of social media, lyrics of secular music, and occasionally in our own local schools and communities.
Make time to talk
The first time your child asks questions about suicide, make time to talk about it! Don’t put off the discussion, even if the subject matter makes you uncomfortable. You might lose the opportunity to satisfy your child’s curiosity and risk her seeking answers from unfavorable sources. The best thing is to respond to your child’s questions as factually as possible without going into more detail than she is actually asking.
Also, any time we can take our kids to the Bible for answers to life situations—the better! This approach helps children develop their own biblical worldview as they mature in other ways.
Be concise
It’s not up to individuals to decide when life should terminate; the beginning and ending of life are up to the Lord. But when someone does take their own life—and we must talk with a child about it—don’t pass judgment on the deceased person. Explain their death in simple, factual terms a child can understand such as, “He took some medications that made his heart stop working.” Or “She injured her body in a way that caused her to stop breathing.”
Give spiritual hope
Even when children are in elementary school, they begin thinking about what they want to do when they grow up. Remind your kids that God has wonderful plans for their lives!
An encouraging Bible promise is, “I know the plans I have for you . . . plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). Another great passage from the book of Jeremiah reminds us, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jeremiah 1:5).
These encouraging scriptures should help your child look to God—not this world—for answers to life’s difficulties, and to remain hopeful about their promising future!
Discuss unconditional love
Parents have a huge influence over their kids! Children need to hear how their moms and dads will always love them despite any disappointing behavior in which children have been engaged. This assurance of unconditional love helps children know they’re secure and accepted.
Early in your children’s lives, seek to establish a foundation of belief that God made them, loves them, and has a great plan for their future. This will lay a solid footing in their thinking for many years to come—one that will encourage them even when things get tough—to choose life in the way the Lord intended all along.
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IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS CONSIDERING SUICIDE, PLEASE CALL or TEXT 988
(the National Suicide Prevention hotline).
If someone has attempted suicide and is in a medical emergency, CALL 911.