Most of us think of the holidays as the best time of the year! However, when a family experiences the fracture of divorce in their household, this season can easily become a flurry of emotions that are not so merry or bright.
6 tips for single-parenting this Christmas season:
1. Be flexible
Blended families have more complicated situations. Obviously, you’re now split between two households. Sometimes one parent is living in a different city or state from their biological children. More family members are now part of your children’s lives with additional step-siblings, stepparents, grandparents, to “juggle” as part of the holiday schedule.
2. Start new traditions
Give everyone a say in starting some new rituals during this season. Stepchildren may have a favorite holiday side dish that would be easy to incorporate into your menu. Or there may be a new activity you can begin this year. Group activities are fun—bowling, holiday hikes/walks/runs, or even making other Christmas cookies or other snacks that can be customized for everyone’s likings!
3. Plan ahead
Remember, plans should not be just what one parent chooses. Both sets of parents need to be involved in the decision of where children will spend time over the course of the holiday.
Many school systems are shut down for several weeks—making this task easier to accomplish. This can be beneficial for stepfamilies—allowing time for each side to travel and see extended family members. If you have a newly blended family, try to make it possible for children to see all the grandparents since there are now more of them to get acquainted with.
When both sets of adults feel comfortable with the plans, the children will likely pick up on that in their adjustment to the new and different activities.
4. Involve children in decorating
When divorce happens, all family members are affected. Children have a lot to process which is stressful! One thing you can do to ease some of this holiday anxiety is to involve the children in decorating your home for the holidays. When they take part in the embellishing activities, it helps become “their home” especially if this is their first Christmas in your house. So, no need to have a perfect “designer tree.” Simple is often best!
5. Plan a family activity to focus on others
Doing something helpful for someone else always helps take our minds off ourselves and redirect it to those in need. Depending on the age and ability level of your child and stepchildren, you may want to try making part of this season a “helping holiday.” Check with your church or even city-wide needs for short-term volunteers. It could be for a church Christmas program such as handing out programs to guests, serving lunch at a homeless shelter one day, or taking some holiday goodies to an elderly shut-in nearby. An activity that’s fairly easy and quick will provide great “warm” memories for everyone involved.
6. Don’t plan too much
Blended families often have many schedules to work around. Keep this in mind so you don’t go overboard and exhaust everyone—including yourself! Young children especially are content with a few fun undertakings they can count on being part of their holiday. Computer or board games provide a nice break from doing other activities away from your house.
When you keep your focus on providing a secure, loving environment at your home—not too rushed or fancy—your Christmastime together this year can bring layers of warmth and fun for everyone.
If you’re divorced and could use some faith-based support from others in the same situation, consider attending Divorce Care®.
Divorce Care® Recovery Support Group
Meet at The Babb Center for Counseling
Tuesday evenings (Jan. 11–Apr. 5, 2022) 6:30–8:00 PM
Cost: $ 20.00
To register for the group and find more information on topics covered
in Divorce Care®, click here.