One thing that I’ve noticed repeatedly in conversations with both clients and friends is people saying how stressed-out they are right now! We are running in so many different directions each day and trying to keep up with more to-dos than ever before. The results are feelings of stress, pressure, helplessness, or failure.
If you have perfectionistic tendencies, this time of feeling a bit out of control can be quite distressing! There are some things you need to keep in mind so you don’t become too hard on yourself.
The first thing to remember is that we DO have so much to manage right now. Many families are doing children’s schooling at home while maintaining regular working hours, doing household duties, and preparing for holidays among a zillion other family responsibilities.
No matter how awesome a person is, one individual can only do so much! If you are prone to feeling disappointed with yourself about this, try to de-personalize the stress by looking at the evidence. Is it really your ability to succeed that has changed, or that the pressures and expectancies have changed?
Secondly, consider changing your expectations. You can’t control the beliefs that others have about you, but you can change your own. Be willing to challenge the “all or nothing” type of thinking that says your house has to be completely clean, or exercise has to be an hour or more at a time. Be willing to allow flexibility with your own standards of activity level. Consider these questions of adaption:
- Can you accept if the floor is swept but not also mopped?
- Can you exercise today for fifteen minutes instead of thirty?
- Can you make a low or no-prep meal rather than one that requires lots of preparation?
- Can you do a short devotional and prayer rather than being frustrated at not having your usual amount of quiet time with the Lord? Be willing to be adaptable when needed.
And finally, be willing to delegate. Have an idea in mind for the next time someone says, “How can I help?” and then actually let them do it! Here are a few examples:
- Give children chores according to their developmental ability. No, they won’t do it the same way you would, but that’s okay and they’ll learn a lesson about responsibility in the process. Children as young as two or three can do simple chores and enjoy the feeling of being helpful.
- Ask your spouse to sweep a room or unload the dishwasher. They might not have realized it needed to be done if you normally take care of it.
Even if these types of daily errands and chores are not done the same way you may have done them, isn’t the extra time and reduced pressure worth it if you feel less stressed? We’re living in a segment of history when things are not normal at all. So, do your best to give yourself (and others) more grace—even if you are a perfectionist.