When is the best time to talk with kids about sexuality?
The earlier, the better! For general growth changes, it’s great to “grow” these conversations along with your child’s physical growth. Meaning—start talking with them in their preschool years about simple matters related to their bodies. Talk about the uniqueness of their body compared to that of the other gender. Use “real” biological names for private body parts instead of silly names. This matter-of-fact approach makes it simply part of life.
Although you may think it would be hard to discuss these matters with young children, it actually makes the discussions easier. Obviously, with very young kids you need to keep age-appropriateness in mind for their understanding level.
But as your child grows older, your conversations will grow too—taking on a more mature approach. Certainly, when you notice their bodies are changing in physical appearance toward that of pre-adolescence—it’s time to talk further about “next steps” they can anticipate physically or emotionally.
Sometimes your child’s circumstances will determine the timing of further discussions. For example, if your daughter begins her period around age nine or ten—you will not have any “warning time” before you talk with her about that part of her development. If she’s older—closer to age 12—then most likely, several of her friends are at the same age/stage and have chatted with her about it. Regardless, it’s important for you—as your child’s parent—to have these discussions together. You certainly want her to see you as an expert on matters related to sexuality—over the immature ideas of her preteen friends!
Maturing boys have their own biological issues to deal with. If possible, it’s best for Dad to talk with their sons about these matters. But if you are a single mom with an adolescent boy in your household, consider finding a trusted adult male figure in your extended family or friend who can talk with your son about these things. It just makes sense that adult females understand younger female changes, and adult males understand those of younger males.
You can do this!
Even though you may feel unqualified to talk about these awkward matters of puberty with your child, it really is so important for you to bite the bullet and have these conversations with them. The earlier you begin the conversation, the easier they will be! And this dialogue will set a foundation for further conversations with them as they mature toward young adulthood and all that comes with it!
Additional resources on this topic:
“Preparing for Puberty” https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/schoolage-children/talking-about-sex-and-puberty/preparing-for-puberty
“What Is Puberty All About?” https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/156451.php